Pay attention closely…shhhhhhh
Pay attention closely…shhhhhhh
Recently I was going to drive a few hours and pay a few hundred bucks to take a OneTaste initial training course (another story) out of curiosity –which, thank god I have nine-lives for all my curiosity issues. Anyways, my torment was derailed when I couldn’t find an easy way to sign up online and so had no choice but to have a phone conversation with the Orgasm Salesman that didn’t go so well when he brought me down a slippery, sales slope saying things like: “There is a reason you’re free this weekend!” Implying the universe was lining something better up that I shouldn’t miss out on with the ever entertaining implication of “it was meant to be”. He continued on saying there is “a lecture in San Francisco you should go to” that starts in 36 hours, even though it’s 10 hours away and costs a LOT more and you should go now because very soon Nicole Deadone, the founder, will ONLY be doing intensives that run $3,600 or more for seven days” and so on.
Ugh. His sales spiel was pretty clever though, as he went through all the earlier steps of relating, gaining trust, bait and switch and so on I was going along with it. Nod, nod…listen, listen, agree. However I had a sudden feeling-bad realization and felt like I was coerced to buy a fancy, over-priced car, even though I came to buy some touch-up paint. Circa nineties Amway sales maneuvers and pyramid schemes popped into my mind.
When I told him I felt “uncomfortable” he confidently stated that I was in my cerebral cortex, and that I was feeling fear, as if all his sales talk should have somehow instead have excited me. Now the movie “The Secret” popped into mind, as he implied that I was “failing” at proper manifestations, as foretold in the movie about how to build your life of abundance, bla, bla, bla.
It took awhile to process it all clearly but in the end it came up smelling like typical sales bullshit with a new-age bent about manifesting a shit-load of money –to then give to them, or you somehow are deemed a poor creator. I tested him with follow-up emails to confirm his integrity and it wasn’t pretty unless you like being told quotes from channelers used by people trying to sell you things: “If you could get out of your own way you would see that you could have it all!”. Those companies and sales types who prey on people’s ego/pride/humiliation to get them to anti-up huge credit card debt for overpriced or useless made-up, experimental goods or services and gouge –I have no interest in supporting or participating beyond writing a review for the buyer to beware.
A pervious news post about these sex-dorks here: https://creatingclare.wordpress.com/2014/02/20/female-creating-male-sex-slaves/
An affluent, white kid who grew up in Palm Springs, now a Muslim convert, does not celebrate Christmas at all yet he spends his time raising money using consumer items to make huge, anti-consumer Christmas “art” projects and destroying the newest technology, with his Dads support, and brags about it on youtube. He toils combining things to make ugly “art” and Robots that can only be what is his perception of the Western, throw-away society with a bitter edginess and mixes them in with thousands of Christmas Lights in a display called RoboLights that lures the unsuspecting to donate. The Christmas twists include such “art” as demonic, reindeer heads on toilets, skeleton gingerbread men, skulls and weapons galore, and disturbing gas-masked children, all mixed in with normal Christmas LIGHTS and glee for the unassuming, light-seeking, innocent donation payer. That’s not all he does in his spare time, he destroys all manner of technology which apparently threatens his very existence. His latest technology, destruction show-off was cutting a brand-new Iphone in half with a power saw, which he then uploaded on youtube and had on his facebook page. He claimed he sold the halved phone for $1005 to someone in the UK. He also makes creepy sculls and eye-balls and promotes them in videos with his usual sarcastic tone, selling them as the perfect holiday presents. His big holiday shit-show, a two-acre display called RoboLights, begins with a whole city block of NO PARKING signage. No parking allowed in front of the undeniably, well-lit, high-end property during RoboLights open hours, indicating the traffic domination disturbance in the residential neighborhood. A lady in a Santa helper hat confirms neighborhood issues, by asking us, even though we don’t live there, to sign a petition supporting the light and robot “art” to stay in the neighborhood. She goes on to brag that the “artist” came back with a vengeance, after last years shut-down! The supposedly non-commercialized display requires getting past a giant “donation” bucket with a money hole that is manned by a large, narky looking woman for demand of a $5 minimum “donation” before you can possibly enter though the narrow doorway to her left that she guards like a pit-bull. Visitors on review forums have complained of the “donation” lie because you can’t get in with out paying though it’s supposedly a gifted, non-commercialized event to bring “Joy” to the community. One demand complainant said she was required to pay for a baby under 12mos. A woman in a Santa’s helper hat indicated that that the outside, free areas are “for the kids”. I realize later, that was a way to excuse what would be realized by parents later, as a not child-friendly display. The property is barricaded with sturdy gates and locks. Be prepared to feel entirely caged-in once entered, just like the many live pigeons and doves in the tiny, white-painted, wooden cages that are also on the property next to the enormous swimming pool. Several light tunnels meander around a pond that is filled with expensive desert water, despite the California drought, where several giant vinyl blow-up swans float serenely under the many perfectly manicured palm trees. At first glance it seems like a friendly display, but at the end of each light tunnel or path, exists a theme with ugly painted Robots made of old things. Western-world weary Kenny Irwin Jr., creates them from what can only be a sardonic mind, zip-ties, and many boxes of bolts. Things that were once valued and useful are now painted and uglified. They no longer represent anything identifiable of vintage or what might have once been admirable. The paint is very sloppily applied with primer or ugly colors that are suspiciously similar of the ones used during the era of lead-based paint or something equally uncomfortable. The “lucky” children, whose parents paid the donations for the RoboLight tour, aren’t milling about nor excitedly pointing and looking at things like normal children do, despite the thousands of lights and injected holiday themes, instead they stay abnormally close to their parents, perhaps partly due to the fact that the many, once colorful carousels, are now painted dull and are positioned forbiddingly high and out of child-hood pleasures reach. Only the most cynical of adults can enjoy them, as they go around and around, dully painted with no riders, sucking up power from the nearby electrical source. Three giant, Macy’s parade-sized Santas loom in the background while erie middle-eastern sounds come-through various hidden speakers, along with an occasional, sarcastic jingle-tune that gets mixed in. The more you look around and deeper you go in, the creepier it gets. Childhood nightmares and horror movies with clowns in them come to mind. Despite the theme and the “Lights”, the feeling-vibe is as confused and doomed as those caged doves and pigeons. One carousal is converted into three pink toilets instead of three noble ponies. Some t-shirts are for sale but the logo seems to be almost purposely, non enticing and designed specifically for RoboLight suckers. On the way out, three wisemen stand near a middle-eastern looking Mary in a conflicted hippie head-scarf. She ignores the brown baby jesus in a yelllow painted tele-box manger with two remote controls, while she fondles the pink-painted reptile icon, which generally represents needs (survival) not wants, that is placed under the painted Mosque. The display speaks of something beyond healthy satire, a sort of mockery that could only get that ugly if it came in response from a greater religious, fundamentalist viewpoint. The artist projects his own conflicted judgements, desires and fears onto numerous “art” forms on his upscale property as his caged winged creatures chirp restlessly from their boxes offering farther clues into his mind. The pretend company Kenny works for on his facebook page is titled “perfectly made birds” symbolizing expectations of caged perfection, as he mimics, judges and projects, through his art, his dreams for Western society. Though most folks at a glance, pin him to be an odd, creative type, who also happens to be Muslim with a hatred of technology, could he be yet another religious fanatic, that could become dangerous? Could the money that is donated by the generous of heart (as much as $15,000 a night on the best nights of the year) being sent to be used by factions that harm the very life-style the donators hold dear? Is he really even Muslim or is it an act to play out a hatred display with protection of being a minority and perhaps a ploy with a future timeline set to further damage relations within the Middle East? Step right up and spin your donation dollars into the unknown wheel. ————————————— Kenny Irwin Jr.s: Youtube channel Dovetastic https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCImGLdf4Vo8egkdCpg2x9Cw RoboLights Facebook page:https://www.facebook.com/ROBOLIGHT Personal Facebook page:https://www.facebook.com/dOvetastic/photos
2. All cops are bad.
3. Humans are Slaves.
4. Reptilians own us.
5. Everything you have learned is a lie.
6. I will find the Truth.
7. You don’t create your own reality except the one about the world coming to an end.
8. Fluoride will kill me but the cigarettes, alcohol, drugs or pot I abuse everyday won’t.
9. “I” have a right to know all government “secrets,” even if knowing them will harm me and my country.
10. I’ve been programmed and it’s all bad.
The article below poses a perfect example of how we build momentum with our thoughts. Had the guy actually been “meditating” which means having “no thought” he would not have been drifting into dark territories of the mind due to boredom, irritation, past focus, and agitation of others near him. Meditation retreats are hell for empathic types. It’s not easy, releasing other peoples stuff, plus your own, and only a trained psychic will know the difference between the two.
Vispassanas (and those 10 day meditation) retreats only seem life-changing because your so f*cking happy when they are over! I don’t recommend them because it doesn’t make sense in ANY WAY to have NO THOUGHT, making the mind useless and not honoring it’s purpose and value, for ten whole day. It’s as impossible to meditate continually for more than a few hours, as telling the body not to breathe after a few minutes.
Meditation retreats should be referred to for what they really are: “trigger” retreats. Designed to trigger you into activating “issues” so you will think you over came them, when in reality you just activated them and now need to recover. Tormenting yourself by altering the natural flow of the mind, with an intention of “I need to be healed” isn’t the smartest thing to do, it’s telling the universe “I’m broken” and often brings just that.
Meditation when done with the natural flow of daily life, however, is very valuable, but it should be 15 minutes of releasing thoughts as they arise, with the intention of aligning with source. Ya, –so we can be a “Sorcerer.”
The actual PURPOSE “of” meditation, is to quiet the mind. Why? so that we rise like a cork in water, meeting our Source energy. Stopping our thoughts is the point BUT ONLY necessary because our mind has a tendency towards so many “unwanted” thoughts. If you are experiencing awesome creative and blissful thoughts, then meditation would be useless. Meditation, for most of us, is useful as a trip-start for a new mental view that is more in alignment with the natural energy of when we are aligned with our soul/source.
Sitting in meditation practices for days on end is a recipe for disaster as not enjoying and living life fully and with purpose in itself creates an attraction of depressive thoughts.
Recently in an Ayahuasca Journey, spirit, recorded my thoughts and played them all back for me. How “nice”, it was dreadful, to say the least. Spirit pointed out with each and every thought, what each thought was worth in value towards my life as I want it to be. Not ONE of my thoughts, in a two hour period, (ahem, not one!) was actually actively moving towards creating what I desire for my life. Each and every thought was one of three things:
1. Moving towards creating more momentuem towards what I don’t want.
2. Not in sync with how Source/Soul/Spirit views myself, a situation, someone, something, and is therefore in some way, somewhat harmful (we are all connected).
3. Many were simply inert. They were useless and pointless; a waste of energy keeping me distracted from using my mind powerfully as a creator, and/or downloading infinite intelligence and guidance.
Let’s get down to the subject of Momentum. Building Momentum is great when you are really moving towards creating all what you desire and when that is in alignment with your True Will or what your Soul desires.
Creating without Thoughtful Intention can even be DANGEROUS. A good example of momentum building towards mis-creation is the woman who was taking selfies, posting to facebook and texting “I’m so Happy” while she was listening to Pharrell’s Happy Song, only to be the cause of a head-on collision that killed her. Well… at least she died “happy” which is certainly worth that momentum and those who have experienced death cannot argue, the soul is so very happy after being released from all of our resistance.
A happy joyful state of being speeds up ALL the energy of whatever you are already attracting!
The other thing to consider is that with meditations and all practices that guide you into deeper into self Awareness, you will also become AWARE of what is around you inter dimensionally. Do you know what spirits are near you? Your knowledge of what is around you, from fairies to reptilian aliens, is valuable information to see how you have been programmed, what your beliefs are attracting and what needs to change.
The Dark Side of Meditation, Business Insider
Set back on quiet College Hill in Providence, Rhode Island, sits a dignified, four story, 19th-century house that belongs to Dr. Willoughby Britton. Inside, it is warm, spacious, and organized. The shelves are stocked with organic foods.
A solid wood dining room table seats up to 12. Plants are ubiquitous. Comfortable pillows are never far from reach. The basement—with its own bed, living space, and private bathroom—often hosts a rotating cast of yogis and meditation teachers. Britton’s own living space and office are on the second floor. The real sanctuary, however, is on the third floor, where people come from all over to rent rooms, work with Britton, and rest. But they’re not there to restore themselves with meditation—they’re recovering from it.
“I started having thoughts like, ‘Let me take over you,’ combined with confusion and tons of terror,” says David, a polite, articulate 27-year-old who arrived at Britton’s Cheetah House in 2013. “I had a vision of death with a scythe and a hood, and the thought ‘Kill yourself’ over and over again.”
Michael, 25, was a certified yoga teacher when he made his way to Cheetah House. He explains that during the course of his meditation practice his “body stopped digesting food. I had no idea what was happening.” For three years he believed he was “permanently ruined” by meditation.
“Recovery,” “permanently ruined”—these are not words one typically encounters when discussing a contemplative practice.
On a cold November night last fall, I drove to Cheetah House. A former student of Britton’s, I joined the group in time for a Shabbat dinner. We blessed the challah, then the wine; recited prayers in English and Hebrew; and began eating.
Britton, an assistant professor of psychiatry and human behavior, works at the Brown University Medical School. She receives regular phone calls, emails, and letters from people around the world in various states of impairment. Most of them worry no one will believe—let alone understand—their stories of meditation-induced affliction. Her investigation of this phenomenon, called “The Dark Night Project,” is an effort to document, analyze, and publicize accounts of the adverse effects of contemplative practices.
The morning after our Shabbat dinner, in Britton’s kitchen, David outlines the history of his own contemplative path. His first retreat was “very non-normal,” he says, “and very good … divine. There was stuff dropping away … [and] electric shocks through my body. [My] core sense of self, a persistent consciousness, the thoughts and stuff, were not me.” He tells me it was the best thing that had ever happened to him, an “orgasm of the soul, felt throughout my internal world.”
David explains that he finally felt awake. But it didn’t last.
Still high off his retreat, he declined an offer to attend law school, aggravating his parents. His best friends didn’t understand him, or his “insane” stories of life on retreat.
“I had a fear of being thought of as crazy,” he says, “I felt extremely sensitive, vulnerable, and naked.”
Not knowing what to do with himself, David moved to Korea to teach English, got bored, dropped out of the program, and moved back in with his parents. Eventually, life lost its meaning. Colors began to fade. Spiritually dry, David didn’t care about anything anymore. Everything he had found pleasurable before the retreat—hanging out with friends, playing music, drinking—all of that “turned to dirt,” he says, “a plate of beautiful food turned to dirt.”
He traveled back and forth from Asia to home seeking guidance, but found only a deep, persistent dissatisfaction in himself. After “bumming around Thailand for a bit,” he moved to San Francisco, got a job, and sat through several more two- and 10-week meditation retreats. Then, in 2012, David sold his car to pay for a retreat at the Cloud Mountain Center that torments him still.
“Psychological hell,” is how he describes it. “It would come and go in waves. I’d be in the middle of practice and what would come to mind was everything I didn’t want to think about, every feeling I didn’t want to feel.” David felt “pebble-sized” spasms emerge from inside a “dense knot” in his belly.
He panicked. Increasingly vivid pornographic fantasies and repressed memories from his childhood began to surface.
“I just started freaking out,” he says, “and at some point, I just surrendered to the onslaught of unwanted sexual thoughts … a sexual Rolodex of every taboo.” As soon as he did, however, “there was some goodness to it.” After years of pushing away his emotional, instinctual drives, something inside David was “reattached,” he says.
Toward the end of his time at the Cloud Mountain Center, David shared his ongoing experiences with the retreat leaders, who assured him it was probably just his “ego’s defenses” acting up. “They were really comforting,” he says, “even though I thought I was going to become schizophrenic.”
According to a survey by the National Institutes of Health, 10 percent of respondents—representing more than 20 million adult Americans—tried meditating between 2006 and 2007, a 1.8 percent increase from a similar survey in 2002. At that rate, by 2017, there may be more than 27 million American adults with a recent meditation experience.
In late January this year, Time magazine featured acover story on “the mindful revolution,” an account of the extent to which mindfulness meditation has diffused into the largest sectors of modern society. Used by “Silicon Valley entrepreneurs, Fortune 500 titans, Pentagon chiefs, and more,” mindfulness meditation is promoted as a means to help Americans work mindfully, eat mindfully, parent mindfully, teach mindfully, take standardized tests mindfully, spend money mindfully, and go to war mindfully. What the cover story did not address are what might be called the revolution’s “dirty laundry.”
“We’re not being thorough or honest in our study of contemplative practice,” says Britton, a critique she extends to the entire field of researchers studying meditation, including herself.
I’m sitting on a pillow in Britton’s meditation room. She tells me that the National Center for Complementary and Alternative Medicine’s websiteincludes an interesting choice of words in its entry on meditation. Under “side effects and risks,” it reads:
Meditation is considered to be safe for healthy people. There have been rare reports that meditation could cause or worsen symptoms in people who have certain psychiatric problems, but this question has not been fully researched.
By modern scientific standards, the aforementioned research may not yet be comprehensive—a fact Britton wants to change—but according to Britton and her colleagues, descriptions of meditation’s adverse effects have been collecting dust on bookshelves for centuries.
The phrase “dark night of the soul,” can be traced back to a 16th-century Spanish poem by the Roman Catholic mystic San Juan de la Cruz, or Saint John of the Cross. It is most commonly used within certain Christian traditions to refer to an individual’s spiritual crisis in the course of their union with God.
The divine experiences reported by Saint John describe a method, or protocol, “followed by the soul in its journey upon the spiritual road to the attainment of the perfect union of love with God, to the extent that it is possible in this life.” The poem, however, is linked to a much longer text, also written by Saint John, which describes the hardships faced by those who seek to purify the senses—and the spirit—in their quest for mystical love.
According to Britton, the texts of many major contemplative traditions offer similar maps of spiritual development. One of her team’s preliminary tasks—a sort of archeological literature review—was to pore through the written canons of Theravadin, Tibetan, and Zen Buddhism, as well as texts within Christianity, Judaism, and Sufism. “Not every text makes clear reference to a period of difficulty on the contemplative path,” Britton says, “but many did.”
“There is a sutta,” a canonical discourse attributed to the Buddha or one of his close disciples, “where monks go crazy and commit suicide after doing contemplation on death,” says Chris Kaplan, a visiting scholar at the Mind & Life Institute who also works with Britton on the Dark Night Project.
Nathan Fisher, the study’s manager, condenses a famous parable by the founder of the Jewish Hasidic movement. Says Fisher, “[the story] is about how the oscillations of spiritual life parallel the experience of learning to walk, very similar to the metaphor Saint John of the Cross uses in terms of a mother weaning a child … first you are held up by a parent and it is exhilarating and wonderful, and then they take their hands away and it is terrifying and the child feels abandoned.”
Kaplan and Fisher dislike the term “dark night” because, in their view, it can imply that difficult contemplative experiences are “one and the same thing” across different religions and contemplative traditions.
Fisher also emphasizes two categories that may cause dark nights to surface. The first results from “incorrect or misguided practice that could be avoided,” while the second includes “those [experiences] which were necessary and expected stages of practices.” In other words, while meditators can better avoid difficult experiences under the guidance of seasoned teachers, there are cases where such experiences are useful signs of progress in contemplative development. Distinguishing between the two, however, remains a challenge.
Britton shows me a 2010 paper written by University of Colorado-Boulder psychologist Sona Dimidjian that was published in American Psychologist, the official journal of the American Psychological Association. The study examines some dramatic instances where psychotherapy has caused serious harm to a patient. It also highlights the value of creating standards for defining and identifying when and how harm can occur at different points in the psychotherapeutic process.
One of the central questions of Dimidjian’s article is this: After 100 years of research into psychotherapy, it’s obvious that scientists and clinicians have learned a lot about the benefits of therapy, but what do we know about the harms? According to Britton, a parallel process is happening in the field of meditation research.
“We have a lot of positive data [on meditation],” she says, “but no one has been asking if there are any potential difficulties or adverse effects, and whether there are some practices that may be better or worse-suited [for] some people over others. Ironically,” Britton adds, “the main delivery system for Buddhist meditation in America is actually medicine and science, not Buddhism.”
As a result, many people think of meditation only from the perspective of reducing stress and enhancing executive skills such as emotion regulation, attention, and so on.
For Britton, this widespread assumption—that meditation exists only for stress reduction and labor productivity, “because that’s what Americans value”—narrows the scope of the scientific lens. When the time comes to develop hypotheses around the effects of meditation, the only acceptable—and fundable—research questions are the ones that promise to deliver the answers we want to hear.
“Does it promote good relationships? Does it reduce cortisol? Does it help me work harder?” asks Britton, referencing these more lucrative questions. Because studies have shown that meditation does satisfy such interests, the results, she says, are vigorously reported to the public. “But,” she cautions, “what about when meditation plays a role in creating an experience that then leads to a breakup, a psychotic break, or an inability to focus at work?”
Given the juggernaut—economic and otherwise—behind the mindfulness movement, there is a lot at stake in exploring a shadow side of meditation. Upton Sinclair once observed how difficult it is to get a man to understand something when his salary depends on his not understanding it. Britton has experienced that difficulty herself. In part because university administrators and research funders prefer simple and less controversial titles, she has chosen to rename the Dark Night Project the “Varieties of Contemplative Experience.”
Britton also questions what might be considered the mindfulness movement’s limited scope. She explains that the Theravadin Buddhist tradition influences how a large portion of Americans practice meditation, but in it, mindfulness is “about vipassana, a specific type of insight … into the three characteristics of experience.” These are also known as the three marks of existence: anicca, or impermanence; dukkha, or dissatisfaction; and anatta, or no-self.
In this context, mindfulness is not about being able to stare comfortably at your computer for hours on end, or get “in the zone” to climb the corporate ladder. Rather, says Britton, it’s about the often painstaking process of “realizing and processing those three specific insights.”
Shinzen Young, a Buddhist meditation teacher popular with young scientists, has summarized his familiarity with dark night experiences. In a 2011 email exchange between himself and a student, which he then posted on his blog, Young presents an explanation of what he means by a “dark night” within the context of Buddhist experience:
Almost everyone who gets anywhere with meditation will pass through periods of negative emotion, confusion, [and] disorientation. …The same can happen in psychotherapy and other growth modalities. I would not refer to these types of experiences as ‘dark night.’ I would reserve the term for a somewhat rarer phenomenon. Within the Buddhist tradition, [this] is sometimes referred to as ‘falling into the Pit of the Void.’ It entails an authentic and irreversible insight into Emptiness and No Self. Instead of being empowering and fulfilling … it turns into the opposite. In a sense, it’s Enlightenment’s Evil Twin. This is serious but still manageable through intensive … guidance under a competent teacher. In some cases, it takes months or even years to fully metabolize, but in my experience the results are almost always highly positive.
Britton’s findings corroborate many of Young’s claims. Among the nearly 40 dark night subjects her team has formally interviewed over the past few years, she says most were “fairly out of commission, fairly impaired for between six months [and] more than 20 years.”
The identities of Britton’s subjects are kept secret and coded anonymously. To find interviewees, however, her team contacted well-known and highly esteemed teachers, such as Jack Kornfield at California’s Spirit Rock and Joseph Goldstein at the Insight Meditation Center in Massachusetts. Like many other experienced teachers they spoke to, Goldstein and Kornfield recalled instances during past meditation retreats where students became psychologically incapacitated. Some were hospitalized. Says Britton, “there was one person Jack told me about [who] never recovered.”
The Dark Night Project is young, and still very much in progress. Researchers in the field are just beginning to carefully collect and sort through the narratives of difficult meditation-related experiences. Britton has presented her findings at major Buddhist and scientific conferences, prominent retreat centers, and even to the Dalai Lama at the 24th Mind and Life Dialogue in 2012.
“Many people in our study were lost and confused and could not find help,” Britton says. “They had been through so many doctors, therapists, and dharma teachers. Given that we had so much information about these effects, we realized that we were it.”
In response, Britton conceived of Cheetah House as a public resource. “We’re still in the process of developing our services,” she says. “Lots of people just come live here, and work on the study. Because they’re part of the research team, they get to stay here and listen to other people’s experiences, and that’s been incredibly healing.”
As a trained clinician, it can be hard for Britton to reconcile the visible benefits of contemplative practices with data unearthed through the Dark Night Project. More than half of her patients reported positive “life-altering experiences” after a recent eight-week meditation program, for example. But, she says, “while I have appreciation and love for the practices, and for my patients … I have all of these other people that have struggled, who are struggling.”
“I understand the resistance,” says Britton, in response to critics who have attempted to silence or dismiss her work. “There are parts of me that just want meditation to be all good. I find myself in denial sometimes, where I just want to forget all that I’ve learned and go back to being happy about mindfulness and promoting it, but then I get another phone call and meet someone who’s in distress, and I see the devastation in their eyes, and I can’t deny that this is happening. As much as I want to investigate and promote contemplative practices and contribute to the well-being of humanity through that, I feel a deeper commitment to what’s actually true.”
If You Want to Change the World, Love a Man
If you want to change the world, love a man, really love him.
Find the one whose eyes are like blazing suns,
that make you look away the first time,
that pierce right through you,
blinding you to everything but the moment,
melting you into a puddle of soft pastel light,
even though you cringe at the color, pink.
The one who stops your thinking,
who sends your lashes fluttering
and all the blood rushing to your cheeks.
whose smile is like a flute,
who summons honey bee songs,
blossom songs and morning bird songs
with his listening.
The fallen-sky-one with the mark on his back,
where he lost his feathers from flying too close to a star.
The broken one in search of his wings,
who tells you the story of how to make fire.
If you want to change the world, love a man
beyond your fear of being burned.
Beyond unforgiveness and the walls you’ve built
to protect your sovereignity and anonymity.
Love him beyond old wounds and lies
you believed to be truth,
the hole in your heart from an absent father,
the scar on your sacred flower left by thieves.
Beyond past lives and the memory
you keep like a shrine to betrayal
when you fell to your knees in the ashes of your village,
and love became a field of bones.
Lift your darkened face to him who stands before you.
Take his hand and let him raise you to your feet.
Trust him to hold you as you tremble and weep in his arms for all that has been lost and found in this holy instant.
If you want to change the world, love a man
Beyond your faithlessness
and your secret hatred of humanity
Beyond all your judgment and self righteous projection.
The stone on your heart is as ancient
as the thought that you had to deny His existence
to know your power.
You are no less God than you ever were.
Man is no more guilty than Woman is innocent.
Love him for bearing the burden of desire in his sex
so your temple could remain whole unto itself-
for taking on the split aspect of mind
that seemed to abandon the oneness of heaven
so that you might know the joy of Its extension.
Love the ecstatic, primal root
castrated by religion as the root of all evil-
the channel of divine creative impulse-
that sparks the seeds of life, death and birth
from the womb of space and time.
Love the humble guardian and warrior
Man has been to Woman
even as he hunts her,
even in his drive towards self gratification,
which ultimately is the portal to soul union.
Love the violator who holds the mirror
to everything you have disowned within yourself-
so that all your desire, your creative impulse
may be freed
from the chains of separation, lack and guilt
and you can finally trust your Self.
If you want to change the world, love a man
in all his instinctual animal nature,
in all his hunger and devotion to beauty.
Love him beyond your vanity and pridefulness,
your gilded possessiveness and need to special-
beyond your well thought out conditions for safety
and all your concepts of how a man
should be in relationship.
Love him beyond your anger at not getting your way,
beyond your terror of not knowing or being in control.
Love him in his relentless pursuit
to penetrate the deepest sanctuaries within you,
that hold the chaos of your strongest emotions,
your carefully guarded secrets of separation
between light and dark, virgin and whore,
man and woman, spirit and form.
Love him for opening the door to sensuality,
to your primordial self that is beyond duality,
for binding you to pleasure
even as the air closes in around you,
even as you writhe with madness,
cursing your incarnation as the enemy-
even as you contract and claw,
crying out in despair, such joy it brings.
Love him for not yielding
to your resistance to surrender-
for standing in his masculine power
even as you threaten to destroy him.
If you want to change the world, love your man
for leaving you to live his purpose,
whether it’s for a day, a week, months or years.
Love him for breaking his own heart over and over-
for holding the tension and balance
of polarity and intimacy,
of distance and closeness.
Love his need for silence and solace-
for keeping some of his mystery to himself-
not that he has anything to hide,
but so you will always have surprises!
Love his evolutionary nature
that seeks new experiences,
that can never be satisfied-
for his boundless curiosity,
that if allowed to be free
might be your own liberation
Love him for shining independently
from the seat of his own majesty-
for not needing, yet choosing you
from a place of knowing his magnificence.
Love him for being your patient direction and destiny-
for returning to you
your own brightness through the dark night-
for helping you to remember
the one and only relationship you’ve ever had
and tried to forget-
for bringing you to that vulnerable, powerless
abiding place of surrender
you’ve been afraid of and waiting for all your life-
where you can finally be consumed by Love-
where you can finally be claimed by God.
A beautiful, woman’s, ego, busting poem, by Lisa Citore
Lizard people! Look for thick skin and a survival flight/fight response on life. The most frustrating people for empathic types to be around.
Lizard people are non-emotional, by choice. They have learned to control and turn off their emotions to direct their energy, protect themselves and feel more powerful. They are often quite advanced in capabilities of manipulating and controlling their energy. Often they learn this in advanced guru type practices be it Jedi, Bhuddism or any practice that encourages a belief that controlling your energy and emotions is a better way, than feeling your truth in your emotions and recognizing and lining up with the desire behind it.
Some Lizard People have inherited this trait from their energy and ancestors perhaps in the form of the dis-ease titled Aspergers Syndrome, or through destructive abuse, where closing down is the best form of control.
Lizard people can hold a presence that makes them seem more connected than the average person despite the fact that the presence they hold, entirely lacks truth. This is where empathic types sometimes end up on a journey with a Lizard Person that they otherwise didn’t intend.
Like Lizards they are rather cold blooded, and like Lizards that is not in a necessarily bad way. However, it can be uncomfortable for some of us more empathic types because they are difficult to understand the reflection with.
No Obama is not a Lizard person, and even if he were, it does not mean he could not make a great president. Often Lizard people have the most conscious morals and values, they hold to strict ideals because they choose not to use emotions to otherwise guide them.
People are usually clueless about how they are draining others. It’s habitual, like something you put on and wear everyday even if it’s outdated, part of a daily ritual. Developed as a safety response to old dramatic life experiences to compensate a sense of power and control regarding relationships with others.
The need for this feeling of power manifests itself in many images, languages and forms in life to show that indeed, there is a need for power and a sense of control to continue to protect oneself.
These conditions are often expressed with the opposite gender. A sign of ancestral damage or recent damage from gender relationships is the likely cause. For a clue if it’s a gender issue, observe how quickly and how openly their response is with texting and phone calls with their own gender vs/ the other gender. Slower and less open responses indicates, a gender trust issue.
In the fifth insight the author discusses four common forms of energy draining patterns with others which are represented as the Interrogator, the Poor me, the Intimidator and the Aloof, and it’s opposing partner reflections.
The Interrogator constantly asks questions and probes into another’s world. The Poor me shares victim stories and in doing so drains your energy. The Intimidator is aggressive and creates a Poor me in reflection. Lastly, the most discrete and unseen one is the Aloof, who, with a withdrawn approach, people give them their energy. The Aloof creates the Interrogator in reflection with another.
The Aloof has an injury addiction that he/she uses like a safety wall that not only keeps accommodating him with a sense of self needed power, but on a deeper level, a sense of control over his feelings and emotions in relationships with others. In order to not get hurt they choose to control the relationship and in doing so it’s not him that is as vulnerable to being hurt.
The aloof will often withhold personal expressions that are compliments and acknowledgements of approval of others gifts or resources, showing a lack of detachment with others. This detachment is something that he values and identifies with proudly, just as a large cat living a solitary life. In doing so he is more secure, more powerful, which, in it’s darker form, is more in control and therefore less vulnerable to connecting with others in a way that would bring one truly deeper and closer. The Aloof also prefers to offer blanket statements that seem meaningful but are not as conducive to creating intimacy with others.
The temptation, in reflection with an Aloof, is to fall into a un-divine energy pattern that disconnects one with true Source energy. In order for the Reflector to stay connected to the Aloof they are forced to draw him out in attempts at becoming closer. Because it’s not in a true form they feel a sense of Interrogating as they attempt to draw the Aloof out. As this happens they participate in an unhealthy energy exchange of control and support a disconnected relationship. The result eventually leads to resentments, perhaps a darker form of the Interrogator with responses meant to ignite guilt.
Another tendency in the exchange, is for the Reflector to switch it up and mirror back, also becoming Aloof to regain his/her power after feeling hurt. When the Reflector behaves as the aloof, he/she is using the same techniques to potentially show the Aloof who they are or punish them in retaliation. This may push the original Aloof to than opt. to play the role of the Interogator back which reassures the partner the willingness to continue in a co-dependent relationship but with the continued pressure of the boundaries of the unspoken rules. Though this switch gives the other partner a renewed sense of security, it is forever lacking the depth the Reflector seeks.
They also may choose the power struggle and have a stand-off, silence to silence, which goes on until the one with the greatest need for intimacy, becomes the Interrogator yet again.
The key to overcoming this life-sucking pattern, like any, starts with awareness. Awareness of the reflection with the Aloof, by the Reflector is the first step. The second step is for the Reflector to allow the deeper feelings that are occurring because of the exchange, and any and all emotions that come up during the exchanges to be expressed. Openly acknowledging and honoring those feelings will allow the Reflector to maintain their connection to their true energy source and know the best responses and actions to take for him/herself.
Going into debates with the Aloof about the topic will be felt as doubt by the Reflector as the sword of logic and reasons for the Aloofs actions will not be in alignment with the heart and feelings or emotions that are felt.
Openly expressing whatever feelings come up, to the Aloof, is a message to the universe that you agree you are willing to maintain your connection to Source energy at risk of the relationship, and shows your vulnerability to live your life in your personal truth however disappointed you may be. It is also necessary to express oneself heartfully, if one truly cares about the relationship with the individual, and in doing so offering the opportunity that you call for change regardless of the potentially lurking dissolution.
If one comes to the full knowledge, through conversation and through expression with the Aloof, that it’s an undying pattern, it is time to make peace and surrender to the knowledge that it is no longer your work, but now someone else’s turn to learn and reflect with the lessons of the independent and solitary Aloof.
When we are connected with our true Source of energy and not in an unhealthy exchange with others, that inner connection with divine energy makes us feel a sense of lightness, of constant pulsing, radiating love. We feel inspired and ideas flow of things to do, actions to take, steps to be taken towards our desires that match with this energy. If it dissolves with the push and pull of the Aloof, there is an indicator referred to as your emotions to guide you out of this exchange and back to your Source of energy.
When we cultivate a personal reconnection with the divine we dissolve the addiction of draining others with our attempts at feeling some power to compensate for our deeper insecurities or anger. We must find a way of crossing the abyss of fear and allow ourselves to be filled with unlimited energy, love, and knowledge which extends our perception of beauty and lifts us.
To experience ourselves connected with the endless source of energy is to feel euphoric, light, mystical, grateful, secure, and connected. If the whole landscape is us, we feel in love with everything as accepting the energy so our energy field enlarges and sends energy back to everything. Drawing energy from the entire universe, our energy field and the universe’s are the same…i.e.….the universe is our body.
To permanently connect with the energy, we must pass a hurdle: we must stop the control drama that we repeat over and over. Once we are connected with enough energy to see through our control drama so we know we are always connected with all that is, we get higher guidance in our lives so life flows. We must be fully conscious of what we do to manipulate for energy.
In the higher awareness, we can release our own pattern of controlling and discover a specific truth, a mission, we are here to share that helps evolve humanity toward this new, higher level of reality.
More from that can be read here.
Where not to go? Why, Russia of course. News sources are confirming that Russia’s President Vladimir Putin appears to be under the same influence of the same confusing, conflicting and controlling entities that MILAB’s and Alien Lab Abductees fight off. Either that, or those tracking devices that tormented you, are indeed, Russian owned.
What could be closer to the same paranoia that exerts it’s influence over those next-door neighbor terrorists such as James Holmes and Jared Loughner convincing them to sacrifice themselves and turn against their own people, but on a global level with Russia’s president Putin making statements that only Milabs and alien abductees can relate to, during heightened paranoia states, such as “Creating the Internet was a CIA plot”. Yes, not a good sign. After all he has a button on nuclear power at arms length. Is he the “leader” of “the aliens” or under the influence?
One news source reports:
Vladimir Putin, the Russia’s president, has called the Internet a “CIA project” and warned Russians against making Google searches (because it) “goes through servers that are in the States”, adding “everything is monitored there”.
Obviously, Putin has been moving towards controls of the Internet in Russia and making it appear as if it is “to protect his people” but in reality, he is going to limit the information that is coming in/out. Say goodbye to the World Wide Web, the one that includes Russia that is, as we observe its fall into the not just censored realms, but control such as N. Korea operates under.
Putin said the Internet was developed by the US as a “special project” by the Central Intelligence Agency.
Well it wasn’t, but if it were, at least we could say we finally got something valuable from our government. Or did you all want to get rid of it?
Russia’s parliament passed a law earlier this week requiring social media websites to keep their servers in Russia and save all information about their users for six months.
Gee..really? I believe that is referred to as hypocritical.
Another new law allowed the government to block blacklisted sites without a court order, and businessmen close to the Russian president now control the country’s leading social media network.
More hypocritical behavior.
Putin has frequently been scathing about the Internet, which he once described as “half pornography.
Oh really?! I’d like to know exactly how he knows it’s “half pornography” and why that has anything to do with the U.S.? Probably most of it comes out of Russia with it’s horrific gender issues, maybe when he cuts off their outflowing internet, we will get less porn here! There is a saying by Russian women: “It’s better to have a bad foreign husband, than what is considered a good Russian husband.” Now that is sad.
This simple technique will rebalance your personal energy system making the environment conducive for your well-being.
The technique is simple. I recommend doing it every morning while in bed before getting up, and every evening when you lie down before sleeping, …for the rest of your life.
The technique was given from spirit to a Japanese man who was on his death bed and recovered. It is known as the art of Jin Shin, and this the all around valuable and powerful, Main Central Vertical Flow. It is considered a way to harmonize the connection to the source of our Life Energy. When this source is off balance we attract energies that are not conducive to our well-being. This pathway runs down the center of the front of the body and back up the spine. Here is the powerful spirit taught Jin Shin® self-help process to reharmonize this pathway. I’ve been using it for years, and can feel the blips and movements of congested and unbalanced energy in the body as it releases and returns to harmony during the process.
MAIN CENTRAL VERTICAL FLOW
Step 1: While lying on your back, place the fingers of the right hand on the top of the head, the Crown (where they will remain until step 8). Place the fingers of the left hand on your forehead between your eyebrows. Hold for 2 to 5 minutes or until the pulses you feel at your fingertips synchronize with each other. Ask (set intention) to feel a pulse in the fingertips.
Step 2: Now move the left fingertips to the tip of the nose. Hold them there for 2 to 5 minutes, or until the pulses synchronize.
Step 3: Move the left fingertips to the soft enclave of your throat. Stay there for 2 to 5 minutes or until the pulses synchronize.
Step 4: Move the left fingertips to your sternum (center of your chest between your breasts, right of your heart). Stay there for 2 to 5 minutes or until the pulses synchronize.
Step 5: Move your fingers to the base of your sternum (center of where your ribs start, above the stomach). Hold them there for 2 to 5 minutes, or until the pulses synchronize.
Step 6: Move your fingers two inches below the belly button. Stay there for 2 to 5 minutes, or until the pulses synchronize.
Step 7: Move your left fingertips to the bottom of your torso, where your spinal energy ends, the tender space between the two exiting orifices. Stay there for 2 to 5 minutes, or until the pulses synchronize.
Step 8. Finally remove your right fingertips from Crown and place them behind your back, to cover your coccyx (tailbone). Hold for 2 to 5 minutes or until the pulses you feel at your the fingertips of both hands in the area, synchronize with each other.
Note: The right hand remains on the top of the head while the left hand moves down the body until the final step.
If you don’t feel a pulse after a few minutes, set the intention to feel a pulse and focus on the fingertip to heighten the awareness of it coming in. If you cannot feel it at first this can be normal, move on to the next step when it seems right. There are any number of sensations that overtime with sensitivity heightened you will be able to detect when they arise in the fingertips. They represent information such as tingling is releasing, numbness is stuck energy and different types faster/slower or gushing etc. of pulses that represent expressions of the energies movement.